After a short while, pregnancy nausea starts to get me down. I do not feel that pregnancy glow that so many talk about. I start doubting the sanity of my decision to be pregnant. Why do people choose to do this multiple times? Everyone tells me it gets better and it’s worth it, but I begin to wonder after all the horror stories people tell about life with newborns.
Pregnancy week 6. I notice I am bleeding. I feel a moment of panic mixed with a feeling of relief. Maybe I’m losing the baby and I won’t have to be sick anymore.
The next day, I go to see my ob and get an ultrasound to check on the baby. The moment I hear the pulse of that little heart beating, I am sunk. Suddenly the nausea isn’t such a big deal. I want to meet this little bean and am anxious for the next 8 months to pass more quickly.
Weeks pass. The bleeding and spotting come and go intermittently. Our bean grows into a kumquat and then a lime. My nausea starts to ease up. I have more good days than bad, and I’m finally starting to enjoy pregnancy.
Baby is almost 10 weeks along and we are ready for our big vacation. The plan is to meet our new niece, visit as many theme parks and beaches as my body will allow, celebrate Alex’s graduation into adulthood as he passes from the 20’s into the “oldie” 30’s, and cheer for my team at the race in San Diego. I have my good days and my bad days. We kind of roll with the punches and let my pregnancy dictate our activities. Some plans are thrown by the wayside, and unfortunately these include the beach and the marathon. But
Disneyland kind of gets thrown under the bus too, so it seems we can’t be too choosy.
Sea World ends up being the highlight of the trip. We buy the baby a plush Shamu as a reminder of all the awesome things we get to see and our baby is missing out on. We smile and acknowledge how awesome we are going to be as parents.
Sunday, the last night of our trip, panic strikes when I start bleeding again. This time it doesn’t ever really stop. By Friday, I am on the phone with my ob’s office, frustrated and scared. Another ultrasound, more “I don’t know”s, and a referral to Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM), the high risk maternity office.
Monday morning, the 10th of June, I wake, tired and sick with a migraine. I make it to work but haven’t been able to hold any food down all night, so they send me home. MFM calls while I am napping and I’m not waking up for anything at this point, so I call them back later when I am more coherent.
Because I am already playing sicky hooky from work, MFM is able to squeeze me in for an appointment in the afternoon. I quickly get ready and head over.
The ultrasound shows my beautiful baby, alive and kicking, but nothing else. No evidence as to why I am bleeding so much. I’ve had a couple subchorionic hemorrhages show up in past ultrasounds, but they are gone by this time. My tech leaves to grab the doctor after printing off some beautiful pictures of my baby.
When the doctor arrives, the first thing he asks is “What’s your husband doing today?”