Zombies…Brains

Err…maybe not zombies.  But definitely brains.  Zombies eat brains, cancer eats brains.  Zombies = cancer? 

My cousin’s 5 your old boy is recovering from brain surgery #3 to remove part of a tumor. He is another one of the cancer fighters and survivors that inspires me to do what I am doing.  He is such an amazing and truly inspiring little boy.

This morning for Team in Training, we had a beautiful 6 or 7 mile run along the greenbelt of Downtown Boise.  (6 miles for ½ and 7 miles for full marathon.)  The weather was absolutely gorgeous.  It truly was the perfect day for a run. However, I didn’t feel good.  Bleh.  But, I got out there anyway.

Along the way, Brian (my uncle, who you may remember, if you have been keeping up with my posts, is training with me) and I started running with one of the other ladies from the team.  She told us a little of her story.  

Many years ago, her husband had been diagnosed with brain cancer. Inoperable. Untreatable. Quality of life would just have to be based on how well he could function with a cancer growing in some of the most important cells of the body.  Then a few years later, he was also diagnosed with leukemia.  At this point, the option was to treat him with high doses of radiation.  Since he now had 2 separate types of cancer, they thought the radiation therapy might help reduce the brain cancer as well as the leukemia.  Turned out the radiation was too hard on his brain and he passed away in January.  She concluded her story by saying that Team in Training is her support group.  They are the reason she is able to keep going.  Not only is this team a group of people who can completely relate because we have all gone through an experience that is somewhat similar, but we are working to raise money to find a cure so that others won’t have to share these experiences.  (My thoughts exactly!)

I had found an app for my phone (which just came out yesterday, by the way) called Zombies, Run!  that I really wanted because I thought it would help motivate me to run.  Playing a game with zombies chasing me!  Fun, right? Right!  Super fun!  While the app is a little spendy, it looks really fun! 

But then I watched a movie last night with my mom and sister about a woman with cancer (we didn’t know it was going to be about cancer or we wouldn’t have rented it, believe me) and *spoiler alert* she dies!!! (Yes, that deserves 3 exclamation marks. Really.) (And, also yes, I am not sharing the name of said movie just in case someone watches it and doesn’t actually want to know the end of the movie. You’re welcome.) Anyway, the 3 of us bawled through the 2^nd half of the movie and told my sister what a horrible movie picker she was, because, well, let’s face it, cancer sucks! 

As I was driving home after the movie ended I realized that I didn’t want the zombie app after all.  I just wanted to cure cancer.  Excitement for this morning’s run came over me and I couldn’t wait to go to bed.  Of course, I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking about the poor woman dying of cancer, but that’s life. 

That excitement is what carried me through the run this morning.  I ended up having to take the shorter 6 mile run instead of doing the 7 miler due to problems with my hip flexor and IT band.  We don’t want an injury this early into the game.  But, my coach stayed right with me on her bike and worked with me to make sure I was injury free. In the end, I felt exhilarated and full of energy.  It was hard.  But it was so worth it.

I can’t wait for October 14^th!  I know this isn’t a flavor of the month cause.  This is so much deeper.  And this, this is just the beginning…

Starfish in the Sand

I started crying at work today.  Maybe I am just extra sensitive because I work in the medical field and I come in contact with people who are struggling with cancer nearly every day.  I meet people with brain cancer, blood cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer or breast cancer.  I could keep going.  In one year I have met more people with cancer than all the rest of my life.  I personally know someone who currently has or is a survivor of lymphoma, leukemia, brain cancer, thyroid cancer, liver cancer, skin cancer or breast cancer. And I have lost someone I love to leukemia.  

My cousin, who is currently caring for her little boy as he recovers from his 3^rd brain surgery to remove a brain tumor, shared with us about a family who also has a child with cancer.  This child has leukemia and is 12 months old.  My cousin’s child was 18 months when he was diagnosed with his brain tumor.

Cancer doesn’t care how old you are.  It doesn’t care about your beliefs.  Your race, your gender, your religion.  Cancer is no respecter of persons.  

I know that I shouldn’t try to carry this burden alone, but I believe so deeply in the fight to end cancer. Those times when I start to feel weighed down, or like I am not making much of a difference, I just remember the story of the starfish on the beach.  I don’t know where I heard it or when I heard it.  All I know is that it went something like this:

-A young man was walking along the beach after high tide and saw another man slowly making his way, picking up stranded starfish and tossing them back into the surf.  The first man asked the second why he did it when there were so many that most of them would die before he even got to them. What difference does it make?  The second man picked up a starfish and tossed it into the ocean and responded, “It will make a difference to that one.” -

It makes a difference.  Though right now we can’t save them all—right now—it makes a difference to every patient and family that we do save.  And some day, maybe, hopefully, we WILL find a cure.

Moments That Matter

What I like to eat - not what I should eat

We all have moments of discouragement or weakness.  What’s important is to not let these moments distract us from the most important parts of life.  I find myself faced with my weaknesses every step of the way while training for this marathon.  Dang, it’s hard to get out and run almost every day.  Especially when you are like me and love the sedentary lifestyle.  I’ll admit it.  My idea of the ideal day is to stay at home with Alex reading a good book, playing computer games, going out to eat (cooking healthy food? What?), and watching a movie.  That’s not really conducive to getting in shape for running 26.2 miles.  

My new shoes

I’ve got the shoes.  I’m slowly investing in trendy running gear.  I even have a whole Costco case of the blue variety Gatorade.  Mmmm.  I have an awesome team cheering me on.  Actually, I have two awesome teams cheering me on.  Team in Training and Gordon’s Running Dork Squad (my family team that was created for those of us specifically running for my uncle Gordon – for his story go here.)  What amazing people, all running for a common cause – to wipe out cancer! The strongest reasons in the world propel me forward – Gordon and Jamie (her story is here).  Yet, getting up and going out to run every day seems to be the hardest thing in the world for me right now.  Well, until today.

I’ve had a terrible case of the “blahs”.  I’ve been listening to my family members talk about how motivated they are and how well they are doing with their running/walking and I’ve been feeling really discouraged about my lack of anything even remotely resembling motivation.  Yes, that’s terrible.  I probably shouldn’t admit it out in public, and yet, I think it’s important to realize that no matter how important something is and how close it is to your heart and even how much steam you had running behind you at the start, there may come moments (and there probably will) when your physical, mental, emotional strength will fail you and you want to quit.  

Here I am, looking at this HUGE goal and thinking “What have I done?” and suddenly feeling the very overwhelmingness of it all.  (The dictionary just told me “overwhelmingness” isn’t a word, but I think it should be. All good authors make up their own words.  I’m just getting a head start.) Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of "moments" lately.

Then this morning happened.  I have known for a few days now that I needed something to get me back on track.  This morning was our second official run with the TNT team.  I had my uncle Brian next to me (Gordon’s brother), keeping pace with me, as we tried to match running and walking with the gals around us.  It was hard! I had to work hard to keep going.  But I felt so good when it was over! And I finally feel like I have my spark back.  Honestly, it was only 3 ½ miles. (Should I even admit that?) We weren’t very fast.  But, I have 5 more months to work up to 26.2 miles.  From here on out, I am in all the way!  

Like I said, we all have ups and downs, but it’s all up from here.  

Writing my blog helps to keep me motivated and excited, so hopefully you will be hearing more from me as the season progresses.  Plus, I will be trying to put together some fun incentives for my fundraising.  When you donate to my fundraising efforts you are helping to save lives  (and cheering me on!)  Every donation helps.

You can donate to my efforts online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

 or you can donate to my team (Gordon's Running Dork Squad) here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/gordonsrunningdorksquad

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

 

 

Leukemia Part 3 - My Story

Just Me

Just an ordinary day in February.  I went about my day, doing the things I normally do, and ended up in class that evening at BSU.  Class was great!  My favorite: book arts. Or the art of making books.  Upon exiting class, I turned my phone on and noticed a voice mail.  It was Mom.  

 “Call me when you get home.” Not “when you get this”, but “when you get home.”  There was an ominous tone to the call.  

I called her. “Are you home?” she asked. 

“No.”

“Go home and call me.”

So I called my sister instead.  “Are you home?”

“No.”

“Well, go home and call Mom.”

What was going on?  So I called Alex (who was then my boyfriend and is now my wonderful husband) and told him about these two conversations.  I was feeling so eerie.  Something was obviously wrong but no one was talking to me.  We talked as I drove, trying to calm my nerves.  I thought maybe Grandpa had passed away or something.  

Finally I pulled into the driveway and my sister’s car pulled in right behind me.  I KNEW something bad had happened.  

“Did you talk to Mom yet?” she asked me.  

“No.”

“I can tell you or you can call her.”

“I’m calling Mom.” I was so filled with fear that I was almost angry at this point.

My sister looked distraught.  With shaking hands and pounding heart I dialed Mom’s number.  I didn’t understand what she said.  The only things I got out of the conversation were “car…accident…gun…he didn’t make it.”

I stood there for just a moment in shock.  I didn’t understand.  Who got in a car accident?  Who didn’t make it?  What happened?  And then all of a sudden it all registered to my brain.  

I fell to the ground in front of my car and all but screamed as I cried.  How?  How could this happen?  I cried like I had never cried before because I finally realized that Mom was talking about Dad.

Fast forward three years.  February again.  You know the story.  (And if you don’t, go back and read part 1 of the Leukemia series -- Leukemia: Gordon).  February is a rough month for my family anyway because of the anniversary of losing my dad, but what you may not have known is that Gordon’s leukemia diagnosis came one week prior to the terrible anniversary.  

Gordon and Dad were great friends.  Best friends, you could say.  In fact, they were together when Dad died.  I always felt like I had a little link to Dad through Gordon.  Then last month when the leukemia took Gordon away too, it was like I lost not only my uncle but one of the last little pieces of my dad.

I was very angry when Gordon was diagnosed and then even more so when he died.  So instead of wanting to go out and punch something or yell at someone, I signed up for a marathon.  (Who does that?  Really? Besides me?)

But there’s another side to my decision to sign up for TNT.  I didn’t just sign up on a whim because I was mad.  A lot of thought went into this decision. 

I do this in honor and memory of a great man who gave so much to others.  A man who did everything he could to save my dad’s life even when there wasn’t any hope left.  I do this because it is devastating to lose someone you love so quickly to a disease where treatments can kill just as easily as the disease itself.  

I do this in honor of a good friend who has already been through so much and deserves all that life offers.  A friend that deserves peace of mind instead of constantly wondering if today will be the day that leukemia will take her away from her husband and child. 

I do this for myself.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially.  There isn’t a part of my life that this program and these people aren’t touching.  There comes healing and strength in banding together with those around you, united in a common cause.  A cause worth fighting for.  And this is a cause worth fighting for.  

Whether it be blood cancer, or brain cancer, or thyroid cancer, I want to do my part to help find a cure.  One person can only do so much.  But that one person can spread a message and share it with others.  That one person can start a cause or a program or whatever it is and little by little it grows.  

By my joining TNT, I am one but I am not alone.  My small donation, my desire, my training, and my heart are just a small part of something greater.  Please join me in my efforts to wipe out blood cancers (which in turn provides needed treatments for all cancers) by making a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through my TNT fundraising page.  

You can donate online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

Every little bit makes a big difference!  Thank you for your support.

And PS. If anyone cries even half as much as I did while writing this dang thing, I apologize.  It didn’t go quite the way I had planned, but I wouldn’t change it.

Leukemia Part 2 - Jamie

Once upon a time there was a young girl who had all her hopes and dreams ahead of her.  A life of promise. A life with no limits. She loved high school and cheerleading.  She enjoyed spending time with her friends and especially her boyfriend. She was excited about her future and relished the joys of the present.  

Then one day when she was just 16 years old she started to get sick.  After undergoing some testing with her doctor she received a call on a Saturday morning.  Saturday.  The doctor’s office isn’t open on Saturday.  Nervousness set in as she prepared to hear bad news.  She had recently watched “A Walk to Remember” and it was all she could think about.  The main character, Jamie, had been diagnosed with leukemia and died at the end of the movie.  The main character of our story is also named Jamie and she knew deep down that the doctor was about to tell her that she too had leukemia.  She was not wrong..., 

….Once upon a time there was a young girl who had all of her hopes and dreams dashed with one word: leukemia.  Except this is no fairy tale.  This is real life.  Jamie is real and Jamie is my friend. 

Jamie was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) on November 9, 2002 at the age of 16.  This is just a small part of her story.  

“I’m going to die.”

Just words to most of us, looming in the distance, knowing it will happen someday.  To Jamie the words hang over her head, never knowing if her cancer will suddenly go into blast crisis.  Like a ticking time bomb.  

“You know what’s really hard for me?” she said. “I feel like my life is a countdown.”

Jamie lost most of her high school years to leukemia. Her energy was not what it once was. She was put on a medication that was supposed to help slow the growth of the leukemia but it didn’t help.  After a short time, the doctors switched her to a new medication called Gleevec – a drug that was discovered using funds that were raised through Team in Training – and it proved to be a wonder drug. The leukemia cells in her body reduced drastically with Gleevec and she was able to keep pushing through until a matching donor was found for a bone marrow transplant. 

The bone marrow transplant was performed in May of 2003. Jamie spent a couple of months in a hospital in Utah recovering from the exhausting chemo and radiation treatments.  During that time she felt utterly alone.  Nearly everyone she knew lived a state away in Idaho and couldn’t come visit due to the distance and her compromised immune system.  It was during that time that she became a Christian.  She found comfort and strength in her newfound beliefs and began to feel as though maybe she wasn’t quite so alone as she thought.  

Those weeks spent in the hospital were a blur.  Barely remembered.  As though Someone greater than herself was carrying her through that terrible time and on to the other side.  

Because of the leukemia, Jamie missed out on varsity cheerleading, Prom, and so many other things that most of us take for granted in high school.  These were things that she had looked forward to as she had watched the upper classmen.  These were her dreams.  But leukemia doesn’t care about your dreams.  

Jamie had other dreams too.  She wanted to be a wife and mother.  But who would want to marry someone who would be sterile from radiation treatment?  And for that matter, what about her dream to be a mom?  Those dreams were dashed along with the rest.

In late 2005, the leukemia came back and Jamie had to get back on Gleevec until she was able to have a Donor Lymphocyte Infusion (DLI)  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donor_lymphocyte_infusion) in June of 2006.  She was in remission for the second time.

Another 1 ½ years later and the leukemia was back.  Gleevec and a second DLI in 2008 and Jamie was in remission for the third time.   

During this time, Jamie was going to school to become a Radiologic Technologist.  She met Alex (my husband) who was doing the same thing.  They had many classes together at BSU and became friends.  They both got married around the same time.  (Yes!  Jamie got married!  Yay!)  And this is where I come in.

I met Jamie in late 2009, early 2010 when she was in remission.  I got to know her and we talked a bit about how tough things had been with her leukemia.  The more I got to know her, the more I wanted to get involved.

In 2010, Jamie announced that she was pregnant.  She underwent infertility treatments and was able to carry her husband's child. It was an incredible dream in the making, and we were so excited for her.

Then in January of 2011, after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy, and while still nursing, Jamie discovered that her leukemia had come back.  It was devastating.  Suddenly she had more to lose than ever before because now she had a family.  There was no way that she could take any medication while nursing and she didn’t want to give that up knowing that she may never have the opportunity to nurse another child.  But she also knew she needed to get back on the Gleevec.

Finally on March 28, 2012 Jamie started taking Gleevec once again.  She will have another DLI later this summer in the hopes that her leukemia will be gone for good.  But who knows. 

Jamie is my motivation to put on my running (walking) shoes and get off my couch on those days when I just don’t feel like it.  She is my inspiration for raising money for LLS.  I do this so that one day there may be a cure and she may no longer feel like she is living in a “countdown.”  I do this for her and everyone else out there like her.  I do this for the “Jamie”s of the world.  I do this for the survivors.

Jamie, I do this for you.

Please help me in my efforts to wipe out blood cancer.  Every little bit counts.  $10. $25. $50. Every little bit brings us that much closer to a cure.

You can donate online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

I will be updating my blog, my facebook page and my TNT page to show my progress both in my fundraising efforts and in my training efforts.  

For each and everyone of you that has supported me in this cause so far, I thank you. Thank you!