Moments That Matter

What I like to eat - not what I should eat

We all have moments of discouragement or weakness.  What’s important is to not let these moments distract us from the most important parts of life.  I find myself faced with my weaknesses every step of the way while training for this marathon.  Dang, it’s hard to get out and run almost every day.  Especially when you are like me and love the sedentary lifestyle.  I’ll admit it.  My idea of the ideal day is to stay at home with Alex reading a good book, playing computer games, going out to eat (cooking healthy food? What?), and watching a movie.  That’s not really conducive to getting in shape for running 26.2 miles.  

My new shoes

I’ve got the shoes.  I’m slowly investing in trendy running gear.  I even have a whole Costco case of the blue variety Gatorade.  Mmmm.  I have an awesome team cheering me on.  Actually, I have two awesome teams cheering me on.  Team in Training and Gordon’s Running Dork Squad (my family team that was created for those of us specifically running for my uncle Gordon – for his story go here.)  What amazing people, all running for a common cause – to wipe out cancer! The strongest reasons in the world propel me forward – Gordon and Jamie (her story is here).  Yet, getting up and going out to run every day seems to be the hardest thing in the world for me right now.  Well, until today.

I’ve had a terrible case of the “blahs”.  I’ve been listening to my family members talk about how motivated they are and how well they are doing with their running/walking and I’ve been feeling really discouraged about my lack of anything even remotely resembling motivation.  Yes, that’s terrible.  I probably shouldn’t admit it out in public, and yet, I think it’s important to realize that no matter how important something is and how close it is to your heart and even how much steam you had running behind you at the start, there may come moments (and there probably will) when your physical, mental, emotional strength will fail you and you want to quit.  

Here I am, looking at this HUGE goal and thinking “What have I done?” and suddenly feeling the very overwhelmingness of it all.  (The dictionary just told me “overwhelmingness” isn’t a word, but I think it should be. All good authors make up their own words.  I’m just getting a head start.) Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of "moments" lately.

Then this morning happened.  I have known for a few days now that I needed something to get me back on track.  This morning was our second official run with the TNT team.  I had my uncle Brian next to me (Gordon’s brother), keeping pace with me, as we tried to match running and walking with the gals around us.  It was hard! I had to work hard to keep going.  But I felt so good when it was over! And I finally feel like I have my spark back.  Honestly, it was only 3 ½ miles. (Should I even admit that?) We weren’t very fast.  But, I have 5 more months to work up to 26.2 miles.  From here on out, I am in all the way!  

Like I said, we all have ups and downs, but it’s all up from here.  

Writing my blog helps to keep me motivated and excited, so hopefully you will be hearing more from me as the season progresses.  Plus, I will be trying to put together some fun incentives for my fundraising.  When you donate to my fundraising efforts you are helping to save lives  (and cheering me on!)  Every donation helps.

You can donate to my efforts online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

 or you can donate to my team (Gordon's Running Dork Squad) here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/gordonsrunningdorksquad

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

 

 

Leukemia Part 3 - My Story

Just Me

Just an ordinary day in February.  I went about my day, doing the things I normally do, and ended up in class that evening at BSU.  Class was great!  My favorite: book arts. Or the art of making books.  Upon exiting class, I turned my phone on and noticed a voice mail.  It was Mom.  

 “Call me when you get home.” Not “when you get this”, but “when you get home.”  There was an ominous tone to the call.  

I called her. “Are you home?” she asked. 

“No.”

“Go home and call me.”

So I called my sister instead.  “Are you home?”

“No.”

“Well, go home and call Mom.”

What was going on?  So I called Alex (who was then my boyfriend and is now my wonderful husband) and told him about these two conversations.  I was feeling so eerie.  Something was obviously wrong but no one was talking to me.  We talked as I drove, trying to calm my nerves.  I thought maybe Grandpa had passed away or something.  

Finally I pulled into the driveway and my sister’s car pulled in right behind me.  I KNEW something bad had happened.  

“Did you talk to Mom yet?” she asked me.  

“No.”

“I can tell you or you can call her.”

“I’m calling Mom.” I was so filled with fear that I was almost angry at this point.

My sister looked distraught.  With shaking hands and pounding heart I dialed Mom’s number.  I didn’t understand what she said.  The only things I got out of the conversation were “car…accident…gun…he didn’t make it.”

I stood there for just a moment in shock.  I didn’t understand.  Who got in a car accident?  Who didn’t make it?  What happened?  And then all of a sudden it all registered to my brain.  

I fell to the ground in front of my car and all but screamed as I cried.  How?  How could this happen?  I cried like I had never cried before because I finally realized that Mom was talking about Dad.

Fast forward three years.  February again.  You know the story.  (And if you don’t, go back and read part 1 of the Leukemia series -- Leukemia: Gordon).  February is a rough month for my family anyway because of the anniversary of losing my dad, but what you may not have known is that Gordon’s leukemia diagnosis came one week prior to the terrible anniversary.  

Gordon and Dad were great friends.  Best friends, you could say.  In fact, they were together when Dad died.  I always felt like I had a little link to Dad through Gordon.  Then last month when the leukemia took Gordon away too, it was like I lost not only my uncle but one of the last little pieces of my dad.

I was very angry when Gordon was diagnosed and then even more so when he died.  So instead of wanting to go out and punch something or yell at someone, I signed up for a marathon.  (Who does that?  Really? Besides me?)

But there’s another side to my decision to sign up for TNT.  I didn’t just sign up on a whim because I was mad.  A lot of thought went into this decision. 

I do this in honor and memory of a great man who gave so much to others.  A man who did everything he could to save my dad’s life even when there wasn’t any hope left.  I do this because it is devastating to lose someone you love so quickly to a disease where treatments can kill just as easily as the disease itself.  

I do this in honor of a good friend who has already been through so much and deserves all that life offers.  A friend that deserves peace of mind instead of constantly wondering if today will be the day that leukemia will take her away from her husband and child. 

I do this for myself.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially.  There isn’t a part of my life that this program and these people aren’t touching.  There comes healing and strength in banding together with those around you, united in a common cause.  A cause worth fighting for.  And this is a cause worth fighting for.  

Whether it be blood cancer, or brain cancer, or thyroid cancer, I want to do my part to help find a cure.  One person can only do so much.  But that one person can spread a message and share it with others.  That one person can start a cause or a program or whatever it is and little by little it grows.  

By my joining TNT, I am one but I am not alone.  My small donation, my desire, my training, and my heart are just a small part of something greater.  Please join me in my efforts to wipe out blood cancers (which in turn provides needed treatments for all cancers) by making a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through my TNT fundraising page.  

You can donate online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

Every little bit makes a big difference!  Thank you for your support.

And PS. If anyone cries even half as much as I did while writing this dang thing, I apologize.  It didn’t go quite the way I had planned, but I wouldn’t change it.

Leukemia Part 2 - Jamie

Once upon a time there was a young girl who had all her hopes and dreams ahead of her.  A life of promise. A life with no limits. She loved high school and cheerleading.  She enjoyed spending time with her friends and especially her boyfriend. She was excited about her future and relished the joys of the present.  

Then one day when she was just 16 years old she started to get sick.  After undergoing some testing with her doctor she received a call on a Saturday morning.  Saturday.  The doctor’s office isn’t open on Saturday.  Nervousness set in as she prepared to hear bad news.  She had recently watched “A Walk to Remember” and it was all she could think about.  The main character, Jamie, had been diagnosed with leukemia and died at the end of the movie.  The main character of our story is also named Jamie and she knew deep down that the doctor was about to tell her that she too had leukemia.  She was not wrong..., 

….Once upon a time there was a young girl who had all of her hopes and dreams dashed with one word: leukemia.  Except this is no fairy tale.  This is real life.  Jamie is real and Jamie is my friend. 

Jamie was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) on November 9, 2002 at the age of 16.  This is just a small part of her story.  

“I’m going to die.”

Just words to most of us, looming in the distance, knowing it will happen someday.  To Jamie the words hang over her head, never knowing if her cancer will suddenly go into blast crisis.  Like a ticking time bomb.  

“You know what’s really hard for me?” she said. “I feel like my life is a countdown.”

Jamie lost most of her high school years to leukemia. Her energy was not what it once was. She was put on a medication that was supposed to help slow the growth of the leukemia but it didn’t help.  After a short time, the doctors switched her to a new medication called Gleevec – a drug that was discovered using funds that were raised through Team in Training – and it proved to be a wonder drug. The leukemia cells in her body reduced drastically with Gleevec and she was able to keep pushing through until a matching donor was found for a bone marrow transplant. 

The bone marrow transplant was performed in May of 2003. Jamie spent a couple of months in a hospital in Utah recovering from the exhausting chemo and radiation treatments.  During that time she felt utterly alone.  Nearly everyone she knew lived a state away in Idaho and couldn’t come visit due to the distance and her compromised immune system.  It was during that time that she became a Christian.  She found comfort and strength in her newfound beliefs and began to feel as though maybe she wasn’t quite so alone as she thought.  

Those weeks spent in the hospital were a blur.  Barely remembered.  As though Someone greater than herself was carrying her through that terrible time and on to the other side.  

Because of the leukemia, Jamie missed out on varsity cheerleading, Prom, and so many other things that most of us take for granted in high school.  These were things that she had looked forward to as she had watched the upper classmen.  These were her dreams.  But leukemia doesn’t care about your dreams.  

Jamie had other dreams too.  She wanted to be a wife and mother.  But who would want to marry someone who would be sterile from radiation treatment?  And for that matter, what about her dream to be a mom?  Those dreams were dashed along with the rest.

In late 2005, the leukemia came back and Jamie had to get back on Gleevec until she was able to have a Donor Lymphocyte Infusion (DLI)  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donor_lymphocyte_infusion) in June of 2006.  She was in remission for the second time.

Another 1 ½ years later and the leukemia was back.  Gleevec and a second DLI in 2008 and Jamie was in remission for the third time.   

During this time, Jamie was going to school to become a Radiologic Technologist.  She met Alex (my husband) who was doing the same thing.  They had many classes together at BSU and became friends.  They both got married around the same time.  (Yes!  Jamie got married!  Yay!)  And this is where I come in.

I met Jamie in late 2009, early 2010 when she was in remission.  I got to know her and we talked a bit about how tough things had been with her leukemia.  The more I got to know her, the more I wanted to get involved.

In 2010, Jamie announced that she was pregnant.  She underwent infertility treatments and was able to carry her husband's child. It was an incredible dream in the making, and we were so excited for her.

Then in January of 2011, after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy, and while still nursing, Jamie discovered that her leukemia had come back.  It was devastating.  Suddenly she had more to lose than ever before because now she had a family.  There was no way that she could take any medication while nursing and she didn’t want to give that up knowing that she may never have the opportunity to nurse another child.  But she also knew she needed to get back on the Gleevec.

Finally on March 28, 2012 Jamie started taking Gleevec once again.  She will have another DLI later this summer in the hopes that her leukemia will be gone for good.  But who knows. 

Jamie is my motivation to put on my running (walking) shoes and get off my couch on those days when I just don’t feel like it.  She is my inspiration for raising money for LLS.  I do this so that one day there may be a cure and she may no longer feel like she is living in a “countdown.”  I do this for her and everyone else out there like her.  I do this for the “Jamie”s of the world.  I do this for the survivors.

Jamie, I do this for you.

Please help me in my efforts to wipe out blood cancer.  Every little bit counts.  $10. $25. $50. Every little bit brings us that much closer to a cure.

You can donate online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

I will be updating my blog, my facebook page and my TNT page to show my progress both in my fundraising efforts and in my training efforts.  

For each and everyone of you that has supported me in this cause so far, I thank you. Thank you!

Leukemia

Gordon

The date is February 10^th, 2012.  My uncle Gordon has been in the hospital for a few days, not feeling well.  His platelet counts are down and he has been treated for pancreatitis. After a bone marrow biopsy, the results are in.  He has tested positive for acute myeloid leukemia (AML).  

February 12^th, 2012.  I start putting feelers out with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) to see how to get involved with raising money for blood cancer research. I am still too grumpy and upset with Gordon’s recent diagnosis to follow through.

February 13^th – March 15^th, 2012.   The family bands together and begins to put into action the orange campaign.  Orange wristbands, orange quilt squares, orange socks.  Anything to remind us that we are helping our beloved family member to overcome this dreaded disease and to help him smile with the color he dislikes so much.  

A blog is set up to follow Gordon’s progress.  Friends and family stay with Gordon at the hospital day and night as he struggles with chemotherapy, biopsies, visits to the ICU, feeding tubes, and the many other day to day ups and downs that come with blood cancer.  

Gordon has his good days and his bad days. Some days I am full of hope and others I am not sure if he will make it.  

One day I read the LLS website to become more informed about AML and blood cancers in general.  The statistics are staggering.  We have come a long way.  But not far enough.  About 40% of those diagnosed with AML as an adult make it past the 5 year mark.  Some blood cancers have better survival rates.  Some are worse.  Every four minutes someone new is diagnosed with blood cancer.  Every ten minutes someone dies.

40%.  That’s the number that my uncle has been given.  That’s it.  It’s disheartening.  It’s depressing.  That number also makes me want to do something about it.  To change it.  To make it better.  

I really start thinking about getting involved.  I ask some of my friends if they would support me if I do decide to move forward.  I get some “yes”es.  That’s enough to get the wheels really turning.

March 16^th, 2012.  I wake up to get ready for work and have a voice mail on my phone.  It’s Mom.  “Kristy, I am leaving for Utah.  Gordon isn’t doing very well.  They don’t expect him to make it.  Call me back.”

It takes a moment for those words to set in.  I think to myself, He was doing so well! This can’t be happening!  He was supposed to be okay!  And then I start to cry.

I call Mom, tell my husband I am leaving and flee to Utah.  We haven’t even gotten out of Boise when we get a text message.  “He’s gone.”  

Devastation.

Leukemia.

After a very long weekend surrounded by friends and family, filled with tears and memories, it is time to go home.  So with heavy hearts we each go our separate ways.  

March 22^nd, 2012.  It is time.  The time for planning and thinking has past.  It is time to start doing.   I take that first step into the unknown and do something that I had previously decided was impossible for me to do.  

I realize now that nothing worth achieving is impossible.  

I sign up for Team in Training (TNT), the LLS marathon training program, to be in their City of Trees Marathon here in Boise on October 14^th, 2012.  TNT has a dual purpose of training for endurance sports and raising money for cancer research. 

I do this so that I can become healthier.  But that’s not even half of it.  I do this for every girl who wakes up one day feeling sick only to find out she has blood cancer and has to live for years struggling with the disease.  I do this for every boy who has to watch his dad suffer through intense treatments only to succumb mere weeks later.  I do this for the supporters, for the survivors, the sufferers, but mostly, I do this for those that blood cancer has left in its destructive wake.  I do this so that one day we may find a cure for blood cancer and I can say that I did everything I could to help wipe it out.

March 31^st, 2012.  Which brings us to today.  Today I ask each of you to help me.  I have a webpage set up for donations.  These donations help fund research for new medications that not only help blood cancer patients, they help all cancers.  Donations also help improve the quality of life of the patients and their families.  

You can donate online here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/oswim/trees12/kristygriffard

You can learn more about LLS here: The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society® - Official Website

You can learn more about TNT here: Team In Training - Together We Train to Beat Cancer

Donate as much or as little as you like.  Every little bit helps and is 100% tax deductible.  My goal is to raise $2000.

I will be updating my blog, my facebook page and my TNT page to show my progress both in my fundraising efforts and in my training efforts.  

26 miles?  Am I crazy?  Probably.  But it’s a cause that I can put my heart and sole into.  And right now, I can’t think of a better way to spend my time.

Oh So Smoothie

It came, it came!  The scheduled arrival date wasn’t until Monday the 16th, but Friday the 13th was my lucky day after all! 

Oh, my beautiful smoothie book, you have finally arrived! 

Yes, I am speaking in exclamation points!  Lots of them! You see, I am very excited!!!

Okay, I see you get the point.  I figured that since I had a brand spanking new blender I should get a brand spanking new smoothie book to go with it.  And it is AWESOME! 500 Smoothies and Juices.  A compendium of 500 smoothies and juices (just in case you didn’t get that from the title.) 

Now, I don’t have a juicer, so I am going to have to play around with that part of the book a little bit because that is where all of the really healthy recipes are located.  However, the smoothies look oh, so divine. YUMMY! 

So many fruits in one little book.  I just want to make all of the recipes in one sitting.  However, I don’t think that I am quite that hungry, and I don’t know that I can get my hands on all of the exotic fruits this fascinating little book calls for. 

I also just joined Pinterest so that I can start collecting recipes for my blender.  Since my little book doesn’t have a whole lot of recipes made with vegetables or of the “green” variety, I decided I needed a place to keep all the extras that I find on the internet.  Yes, I am one of those crowd followers.  Facebook, blogging, Goodreads, and now Pinterest.  Whatever am I going to get myself into next? :)

Christmas

There are some things in this world that money can’t buy – like homemade caramels. We have an abundance of homemade caramels.  And believe me, I am enjoying every one of them.  All of the truffles and chocolates; money bought those.  I’m enjoying them too.  Whatever happened to me trying to give up sugar?  I don’t think anyone was listening when I set that resolution. 

Socks.  Those are good.  We have a plethora of socks.  (I just wanted to use that word.  But, yes, we did in fact receive a plethora.) 

Packages with ribbons and bows tied so prettily under the sweeping branches of our towering 3 foot Christmas tree. 

But much to my dismay, amongst all of this, a new blender was nowhere to be found.  I even entered into a drawing by Single Dad Laughing (http://www.danoah.com/) for a brand new Blendtec.  But, alas, I didn’t get that either.  My old blender smells like burning rubber any time I turn it on and it only works on pulse.  Not so great for making smoothies; or anything else for that matter. 

It was a sad day at the Griffard house, but I put on a brave face and carried on. 

Lo and behold, four score and some odd hours ago – or maybe that was 24 – my dear husband took me shopping (his favorite past-time as I am sure most men can attest to).  While we were about, he said, “Dearest, shall we go look at blenders?”  I replied, “Why yes, we shall.”  And thus, we did.

And this brings us to the happy part of this otherwise sad tale. While we were thus looking we espied a hiding Ninja.  While Ninja’s are generally difficult to see, Alex’s quick eyes caught a glimpse and we bought that Ninja.

After much searching, and much spending, and much unpacking, and washing, and blending, we had ourselves a concoction to behold;  so smooth and delicious that we vowed to buy a book and start freezing our own fruits and start eating healthier and maybe even stop eating so much sugar (once all the sugar on the counters is gone anyway).

Why didn’t we do this sooner?

Rules For Being a Good Blogger

1. Post more than once a month.

...Well, I failed that one. I guess I am going to have to get started. I have lots of stories and adventures and experiences saved up, but I am just too darn lazy to get out the laptop and actually write something! So here's a starter. Not much but it's something. My next post will be something interesting. Well, maybe. I'm not really promising anything because I don't want to get strung up, but let's just say, I'll post and leave it at that.